the guy by the side

Hey its been long since i posted...but as usual with me...my life ain't so interesting and fun filled with happy things to talk about like yours...but i sure got things to say...all those stupid emo and sad shit...
we are learning about blogging in those computing lessons...lol...kinda weird to teach us things like that...when i understand not all have the time and freedom to make a interesting and alive blog...so i appreciate my opportunity...
we slacked off chinese skit like siao
Reason #1 - No props
Reason #2 - No justinn ( i told him to shoo when he peeked through the back door in chinese lesson with kian boon)
Reason #3 - Jiajian sore throat

lol...

and shing chun was exceptionally pissed with ww for slacking off...so pissed that he came to gay with zhi en during free time

yeah its kinda very emo in my lil' corner at the back of the class...which unfortunately cikgu noorizan like to pick on...and an old tradition of anne ang's (as featured in Maxim and Playboy)...
but one good thing is listening to music without the teacher knowing...

maths lessons = slacking and sianness

pe = aching muscles by bernard

chinese = bedtime stories

geog = plain copying and working with the same people over and over again

la = fun slacking literary circle ( i ain't got the book yet)

music = super fun and trying to avoid those contaminated seats...

history = waste of foolscape

malay = getting picked on again and again

aihs i won't elaborate...

here's another thing...

i realised i had not even gone to one outing this year so far...i hope that is a yet and not for sure...aihs...this may be due to the big mistake i made during that incident or because of some other unknown scheme which is steadily drawing me further and further away from my friends i guess...

oh yes and i just realised i am not a weirdo in writing all those poems and stories and stuff since the computing instructor also had a friend who wrote similar stuff...so yay! i am not a weirdo ~ wo0ts...even though you may still think i am...the one who never hangs out with the "gang"...


The Guy By The Side

"Hey, what's he doing emo-ing down there, not having fun with us?"
"Well, he's a weirdo, everyone knows that, the weenie who complains about his mother all the time."
"Yes! He's such a bastard compared to the class."
"Yeah. I think being this kind of bastard should be a crime."

I operate the spotlights,
Twiddle the equaliser,
The striped referee of your fights,
The solo, emo-ing loner.

I look,
Not shout like you.
Surveying silently, you may think I'm a fool,
Not standing in the centre stage,
But being locked up in a cage,
Like a pawn being crushed by a rook.

I don't seem to be told the things,
Which makes up the foundations of your talks.
I don't seem to know the things,
Which you discuss as you walk.

I lay my boots on the table,
In some distant corner of the club,
With just a bottle of ale and a can of beer,
I watch the action and listen to the hubbub.

I light a cigarette with an invisible flame,
Blowing smoke rings which melt into the air,
Staying in darkness instead of fame,
Choosing silence instead of flair.

I lounge in my chair,
Waiting for you to stop,
And come out of your celebrity lair,
Which I was so intent to rob.

I drum my fingers on the table,
Shake a leg, mumble a minor tune,
Waiting, just waiting for you to stop your petty squabble,
And just notice the solitary audience soon.

I stare darkly at your light,
Dimming over the inferior, not giving a fight,
Nor in sight,
Not right.
I clad in sombre black while you dressed in dazzling white.

I smile at you taking all the glory,
Attention,
Fun.
And I laugh silently,
In your shadow of your reputation,
And those "amazing" things you've done.

So what draws all that fame?
Fortune,
Power?
Is it being the opposite of lame?
Being cool?
SPENDING power?

All that was just a show,
A poorly acted yet well disguised show,
Dressed in expensive wrappings of silver and gold,
Worth more than all i had ever sold.

So I still smile and laugh,
At those fools thinking you are great,
I see through the interval, that curtain call,
That you are nothing to what is said,
Of you,
But merely a broken rule?

I'm by the side, not noticed, no,
Not mentioned, no,
Always shooed away from the centre stage,
But no, I don't feel no rage,
But savage pleasure that I know,
You are just nothing within, but many out,
And all that stuff is just an act,
Water in a wine bottle.

I'm the bastard by the side,
Operating your spotlights,
Backstage crew, clad in black,
Standing way behind your back.

A flick of a switch and spotlights' off,
And all that you pretended to be is gone.

"Hey what the hell is this weirdo bastard writing?"
"I don't know, but it sure is scary."
"Ah who cares about him anyway? He's nothing more than a dust mite."
"Yeah, he's just a loner by the side."


...

...

K back to reality...think what you will of the poem, and say what you want, but only if you truly understand me and my fucked up life then you will ge the through meaning of it...

I suddenly got many inspirations, and i'm gonna put another one right here...


I Don't Fulfill Requirements

"I'm sorry but you don't fulfill our requirements."
"Oh fine, its due to my imprisonment."

I hate this thing,
I've got one step in but the other step out,
And i don't know what's it about.
Am i in? Or am i out?
Just tell me damn it,
Before i shout.

I go out 4 to 5 times a year,
Does that fulfill requirements?
I get $25 a week, nothing else,
Does that fulfill requirements?
I have to ask my guards everytime i leave my cell,
Does that fulfill requirements?
No i'm sorry, but you do not fufill requirements.

Oh money is only part of it,
Don't get me started on the talking,
The more i talk, the better i get,
At just tearing down your building.

I ain't got no experience,
I ain't got no sence of direction,
Cause' my cell has 7 locks,
But the keys are swallowed with intention.

I can't talk about your movies,
Does that fulfill requirements?
I can't discuss the latest trends in the streets,
Does that fulfill requirements?
I can't buy the latest coolest stuff in meets,
Does that fulfill requirements?
No, i'm sorry, but you do not fulfill requirements.

I can't fill out my application form,
As questions asked are barely answerable,
With shit like "Do you watch movies with your friends at least 20 times a year?"
"Do you just go out without the parents killing you fear?"

With all that shit,
And all that crazy things.
All i can only do is express my concern, that,
I don't fulfill requirements.


Same thing as before...

Sometimes i feel if only i could have someone with a good voice and good music talent...we can turn just lines of rhymy words into music...lol...its a stupid kind of dream and idea but many of you ppl are dreaming out there like this...so for once i am comparable to your prowess...

I can judge everything from the way everyone is treating me now...i'm not saying anything or anyone is wrong or whatever...i am ready and prepared to solve such problems...unlike some of you weaklings out there...

Oh yes and me and xw share the same thoughts of that we will witness a big catsaprophe in our lifetime...maybe soon...or later...but i just know we are gonna see something big happen in our lifetime...something big...

And also...i just found some new songs which are quite enjoyable to listen to...

New Favourites

Four Minutes by Madonna ft. Justin Timberlake
When I'm Gone by 3 Doors Down
When I'm Gone by Enimem
When I'm Gone by Simple Plan
Be With You by Enrique Iglesias
Cherry Cola by Savage Garden
Crash and Burn by Savage Garden
Love Gravy by Chef
1973 by James Blunt
NBA by Allen Iverson, Method Man, DMX


i am also collecting some reccomendations...so send me all your nice songs...i got about 180 mb to spare...343 songs and still counting ~