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A billion mistakes that I had made.

A million people telling me different things.

A thousand regrets that I have.

A hundred reasons to do or not to do.

Tens of hours spent thinking each day.


All of that is just for one, for you.



Haha i got this inspiration somehow. I think i'm doing too much maths damn
Btw sentosa was pretty fun, but due to my life i had to leave early, as usual, i shall elaborate and explain next time
teacher's day was pretty ok, and 2 straw hats for $5 at the mamashop is a cool deal
justinn's vest is almost just like the one hard gay wears, and i think i traumatized a few people by imitating hardgay during the potluck session. TRAMAUTIZED HOOOOOOOO~

hmm anyways shall elaborate more next time, its been quite a tiring day



Damn I don't know what to do.
I'm so confused.

Screw the confucius statue dammit

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yo wassup peeps. just wanna update yall on michael jackson. yall should've watched the show just now on channel 5 if yall havent, because it was amazing. the concert songs and dances were fantastic and the crowd was simply o.o ginormous.

and his dances and outfit almost fit perfectly, and that makes him look damn cool

haha anyways nothing much happen these days, but expect me to be posting some more poems or LoveStuffs soon, so stay tuned

see ya

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LoveStuffs : Mistakes I

First instalment in Mistakes series

Mistakes happen all the time. Everyone makes mistakes. Nothing is perfect, nobody is perfect, no love is perfect.

I don't want to accept that love is selfish, but maybe, just maybe only, thats the fact. Many times, though not always, some of us fail to see how devastating love can be. Okay, maybe you have went through tough periods of love's down times, of course you need the consoling and listening ears of your friends or family, and we often try to get it. Of course, we feel that pain when we are going through that period, but do we actually know how it feels for the other person who gets the same?

Okay, I do agree that at times we feel that we are the centre of the universe. We are trying to do things for ourselves, and we don't want ourselves to get hurt, and we always want to make ourselves better. That is perfectly normal. But what makes one special is that willingness to look at somewhere, or rather someone, other than the mirror.

I agree that putting yourselves into someone else's shoes can be very difficult. You are you, that guy is that guy. However, its not the actual act of stepping into the other's shoes which matters to him/her. Its simply you trying to do so, and he/she seeing or feeling your efforts, which is the real factor in lifting him/her up. You don't have to really do it, you just have to try and look like you're doing it, and that makes all the difference. No one can really feel what the other is feeling. Maybe you can have a rough idea, but never the full high-definition picture.

Even a consoling question or guesture can save a person on the edge. What you can do only takes you a few seconds, and what it means to him/her can last him/her for years. Because we all are only human, and we are not capable of extraordinary things. But we don't need such miracles to happen. A simple thing can change everything.

However, not everyone chooses to do it, and by some it is considered as a mistake. But to that person who makes that "mistake", he/she may not actually feel the magnitude of that action, or rather, no action.

"Sometimes its not what you do which hurts, its what you do not do which does."

or something like that haha. credits to jiajian who so memorably screwed up my recess by dropping a note on my table.

Anyways lets continue. I'm not saying not trying to do something is a mistake. Of course everyone has their reasons. Life is fast paced and it takes a toll on time. People are too busy to even care about themselves, let alone care about others. The thing is, people who receive care and love almost always remember how happy they felt and they will return the favour to their saviour. Same goes for people who receive neglect and pain. They will return the "favour" too.

So think of it this way, just like Mr Seow Swee Hong so memorably told me during an assembly dance performance, "action reaction forces", the same physics principle applies in this aspect of mistakes in love.

Of course we always try to take an easy way out. Don't we all want care and love, and don't want neglect and pain? But we give that neglect and pain to other people and we often do not feel it. But don't worry about it, its just human nature. People do it all the time, and soon we grow accustomed to it. People who received neglect and hate and pain before are many times more as likely to give the same things to someone else than someone who gets love and care. Its easy to say "I hate you", but it is never easy to replace the word "hate" with "love". But rewards only come to those who go the extra mile.

So if he/she is looking or feeling down, don't hesitate to initiate a conversation online, or simply drop him a short and simple one-word text message during the middle of a lesson : "Emoing?" , I'm sure it will mean a lot and go a long, long way.

Its just whether you choose to do it or not.





I want to thank a special someone who really made me think that I was loved and cared for.

I would also like to apologise, because all that crap above about a mistake in love, I made that mistake. I'm sorry.

131

The least you can do is to kill me and end this right here, right now.

130

hey yos. ain't gonna post much today, very tired, want sleep liaos

went for dinner at suntec city, and its surprisingly not crowded, maybe all the peeps flock to vivocity or ion orchard liaos. btw jiajian was at ion, was sms-ing him just now. it appears that he has got new shoes and is suspected to be wearing a girl shirt LOL

anyways, dinner was at new york new york. and i must say, they GIVE TOO MUCH FRIES. really, its like a total overload. almost every order got fries with it de. and the ginormous burger for 4 ppl is deceiving, the pic in the menu no fries, then serve that time got hell lotta fries sia. so many fries until my family and i had to ask them to pack it up then bring back home LOL

anyways the chinadude was with us, what a bad taint to the family mood haiyos..anyway i shall not elaborate here, i shall talk more about this guy next time haha

hmm, in the meantime, i shall post something educational here, as jiajian does on his blog haha, just something short luh


LoveStuffs : Rejection

When you're trying to get into a relationship, you must first understand that even if you love someone, it does not mean that the person must love you back. You can give all the love you have to that special person BUT, if that person does not like you in "that way" or have any such feelings, he/she just can't. If he/she does not love you, there may not be a reason for it. Maybe you're the nicest guy in the world or the most caring and cute girl on this planet, but, if that person dosen't love you, he/she simply does not. It is UNEXPLAINABLE. People can not like a particular person because he has a bad habit, or looks ugly, or has character issues. But when there isn't much things flawed, it is unexplainable if that special someone does not choose to get with you. In that case, you should learn to accept the fact that the two of you can't be together, or simply wait for feelings to appear, grow and nurture. Its a choice between the two paths. So one should not whine or complain if there isn't any love coming back from who he/she is giving their love to. Its simply fate, or maybe you did something wrong.

However, (siala this is like history essay lols)

The least, the very least, that person you're trying to love can do, is to let you know. Okay lets say that you confessed and tried to do things to the best of your ability to show him/her that you love him/her. But he/she does not have the same feelings for you. But he/she does not want to hurt your feelings so he/she does not reject you on the spot. So he/she keeps quiet and keep you hanging on for an answer. You're clinging on to a thinning rope but you're still alive. You feel like you're dying because of all the negative signs but still dare to continue hoping because of positive memories. Now I understand how that hurt. I know.

So, again, its a choice. Would you rather be ignored, neglected, and untold of everything which matters to you? Then you will be suffering slowly. Confused, slightly angry, and feel emo and uncertain about what may happen the next day, and the next, and the next. You are hanging on because there's a bit of hope but you feel like giving up because there is only a bit of hope.

OR

Would you rather be told directly the truth of how he/she feels? Then it will be like being shot on the spot in the heart. As all the painful truth comes crashing into you head on like a speeding train called Heartbreak Express. Then maybe you will feel like the world is over, and everything is pointless. Yes, you can never ever recover from wounds made by love. Even though love wounds never heal completely, they heal slowly nevertheless. So after some time of intense self-satisfactory emo (credits to jiajian), you will pick yourself up, and get on with life. As usual, as normal, as before. I'm pretty sure some of you out there know the feeling of break-up. And I see all of you recover and get on after some time of emo. So its nothing to worry about.

So, its again a choice between being slowly cut and bleed, or being shot quickly. But this choice is not in your hands. It's in the hands of the person you're trying to get together with. So for those people out there who have this dreadful responsibility on your back, make your choice wisely. I'm sure you do not want to hurt your friend's feelings, but I'm also sure you want to let him/her know the truth and get this burden off your back and his/her back too. So show him/her some respect, treat him/her like a human being, regard and acknowledge his/her efforts and love. Tell him/her what you feel and I'm sure thats what he/she wants, even if it hurts him/her. At the end of the day, lies hurt more than the truth. If that person truly loves you, then he/she should agree that your choice must be respected, and that love cannot be forced, and he/she is happy that maybe you will find more happiness elsewhere with someone else.

But does all that run through your mind when you make that choice?

129

hey yos wassup yall. decided to post something about the stuff which happen these 2 days haha.

yesterday play with the hong kong team again, own them 20 plus points i think. but it was a tiring day, wake up at 6 plus in the morning go school early go take the china idioms things test then it was a wednesday so got lecture and shit so very long and tiring. then after school went to the screwed-rim sbc court to play with them then after that watch the senior team play then after that go to town go some CHIJMES place to eat dinner.

when we started dinner it was like 9 plus then eat finish at about 12 plus. siala, lucky today no school, otherwise i cannot wake up liaos. the food was great and there were like 5 tables of about 12-14 each table, so thats hell lotta peeps.

i was sitting beside this guy who works for the police or something, he's my father de fren and he's damn joke. i think he's called Ah Su or something, i'm not sure, but lets just stick with Ah Su for the time being.

Ah Su was an EX-DUNMANIAN. LOL. and the way he talks is damn funny. i let yall see some of the things he talk with me during a few of our conversations

Ah Su: eh boy, 你是读德明啊？

Me : Yeah

Ah Su : eh 我以前也是读德名 leh!

Dad : 听说以前德明有很多坏学生 leh

Ah Su : 啊就是我的那个时候 loh

...

Ah Su : 现在你们的校服还是那个 metal button arh?

Me : Yeah

Ah Su : Aiyos. 那个 button 很不舒服，应该叫他们去换掉。以前我出去和别人打架，他们 whack the chest 就很痛 *mimes pounding his chest*，一打就受伤了. 所以一直打不赢 ... walao

...

then he ordered a can of coke, then the waitress come ask if he wants to add ice

Waitress : Excuse me sir, 你要不要加冰?

Ah Su : 要加什么冰 arh，我是嘉宾(guest)还要加冰meh!?!?

...

Ah Su : eh boy, 你们现在是穿长裤(long pants)对吗？

Me : Yeah

Ah Su : walao eh, last time arh, 我们中三,中四还是短裤(shorts)leh. the last time arh, the leg hair arh. 脚上都是长的毛，走出去别人都看我们的毛这么长，我们还是穿短裤. now better liao hor?

LOL

anyways, the place is damn nice. its called CHIJMES and there got alot of bars and restaurants and stuff. its those kinda night atmosphere place. drink beer and watch soccer and stuff de. then got this cafe inside got pool table de :O

then there's this huge open space got this restaurant, at night only light the candle on the table then the atmosphere very de romantic haha. so listen up dudes, thats a great place to take the special "her" along, but sadly the atmosphere is only there late at night, but anyways there aint no beer for you man, so just wait a couple more years haha

anyways the dinner was long and the food was nice. but they were giving out some prizes halfway through the dinner so it took about half an hour plus. anyways got home and sleep like dog the moment i lie down

today went to ion orchard with family, and that place is just holy shit man. now that's what i call a high-class place. anws went inside the louis vuitton shop just to glance around and i found this

MAN these are hot. but they burn a hole in the pocket man. a pair of these babies are like $1340. SO START SAVING NOW.

i prefer the black colour one. cuz if you wear dark coloured long pants/ jeans/ trousers with the black LV's, the white bottom sole along the shoe is very eye-catching and adds a kinda "feel" to your overall look. check out the "because of you" video by ne-yo and check out his fashion. you'll see what i mean

then theres even this pair of LV's which look like school shoes. and they're about $890. imagine strutting around in school with LV's on your feet. damn man

then was walking around the place, saw this handphone shop and THIS was on display

now the sides and buttons are real-gold plated

one word for this : screw

haha

anyways thats about it luh, quite a long post, havent posted liddat for a long time haha.

btw tmr got maths test, jiayous for studying bah

k see ya

Ah, I'm lying to myself again.

128

Heartless cover by The Fray

found this on kanye's blog

and btw,

I don't blame you for being heartless, because he already stole your heart.

127

Appear Offline

Tell me what are you hiding for?
Or rather, who are you hiding from?
Why did you lock your door?
Is it because I've done something wrong?

Please tell me why are you quiet now,
No flashing orange lights on my screen anymore.
Are you telling me to take a bow, cause' its over now?
I still haven't bought the roses when you closed your doors.

So sitting here alone I stare at your name,
Never blinking is that cage of grey.
Life without you is just not the same,
When you're with me, we've got nothing to say.

But your heart still pulses beneath the coating of ice,
My heart's still beating even after it's been shot,
What have I got to gain after paying this price?
Ah I just want to see your smile, I ain't asking a lot.

I know that you can see me there,
Your finger's on the mouse but you just won't click.
Stop locking down your love, please just share,
But who to share with, its your pick.

You're hiding behind your darkest veil,
Not opening your windows to the light.
Because emotion prevails and reason fails,
Something inside my heart has died.

Please stop making me think you're really not there,
Lying to my eyes that you appear offline.
To both me and you, its really unfair,
So stop crushing this already broken heart of mine.

But don't worry, I will listen to what you say,
I'll keep waiting until that day,
When you come to save me from the pain,
We can try to rebuild this love again.

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woo 100 views haha. thank you all for visiting this blog, i already forgot how long since i put the counter there le -.- . btw try to tag more haha. the tagboard is dead le, so dont just view the posts! go tag also haha.

btw thursday got 3 tests in a row. thats a real triple threat man

jiayous for studying. cya

125

Dinner For One

It takes two to forge a relationship,
But just one to end it quick.
That's why I'm sitting here alone,
Just wishing that you would come home.

I must tell you that it ain't fun,
Trying to sit through this dinner for one.
Trying to remember how happiness felt like,
Before you walked off alone into the night.

So opposite me stands this empty chair,
Where the shadow of you disappears into the air.
No more cheers, no clinking of our drinks,
No one to talk to about what I think.

There ain't no candlelight now,
Because you were the one who blew the candle out.
Nothing will ever taste as good without you to share it with,
And since you've been gone, there has been a lot of diff.

So I stare at the place you used to be,
Never thought that this is what I will see.
Please tell me why you aren't here,
Because I've lost the only voice I will hear.

So I down my drink which has no taste,
And let that dinner go to waste.
No more you, now its just me alone,
Leaving your heart where I once called home.

Please wait to be seated, I've waited long enough,
Since you're not here, I'm not doing so tough.
But if you bother to look, you will notice that,
I can't help but turn my head and look back.

124

我爱你, 你爱我

Maybe that's what I think and maybe thats the truth.

I hope I'm wrong. And the truth is a lie.

123

hey yos wassup yall, i aint gotta lotta time here so i'm gon make it short.

thurs got chem and maths test sia, most auspicious,

anyways recently school quite sian, just routine stuff, and on a side note i'm quite proud of our tao hua yuan proj

anyways just here to list some inspirations for writing :

Dinner For One

Appear Offline

Love Martini

Can We Talk

trust me they gon be good ones, so stay tuned to this blog :D and tag if you're free haha

cya and nites