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LoveStuffs : Mistakes I

First instalment in Mistakes series

Mistakes happen all the time. Everyone makes mistakes. Nothing is perfect, nobody is perfect, no love is perfect.

I don't want to accept that love is selfish, but maybe, just maybe only, thats the fact. Many times, though not always, some of us fail to see how devastating love can be. Okay, maybe you have went through tough periods of love's down times, of course you need the consoling and listening ears of your friends or family, and we often try to get it. Of course, we feel that pain when we are going through that period, but do we actually know how it feels for the other person who gets the same?

Okay, I do agree that at times we feel that we are the centre of the universe. We are trying to do things for ourselves, and we don't want ourselves to get hurt, and we always want to make ourselves better. That is perfectly normal. But what makes one special is that willingness to look at somewhere, or rather someone, other than the mirror.

I agree that putting yourselves into someone else's shoes can be very difficult. You are you, that guy is that guy. However, its not the actual act of stepping into the other's shoes which matters to him/her. Its simply you trying to do so, and he/she seeing or feeling your efforts, which is the real factor in lifting him/her up. You don't have to really do it, you just have to try and look like you're doing it, and that makes all the difference. No one can really feel what the other is feeling. Maybe you can have a rough idea, but never the full high-definition picture.

Even a consoling question or guesture can save a person on the edge. What you can do only takes you a few seconds, and what it means to him/her can last him/her for years. Because we all are only human, and we are not capable of extraordinary things. But we don't need such miracles to happen. A simple thing can change everything.

However, not everyone chooses to do it, and by some it is considered as a mistake. But to that person who makes that "mistake", he/she may not actually feel the magnitude of that action, or rather, no action.

"Sometimes its not what you do which hurts, its what you do not do which does."

or something like that haha. credits to jiajian who so memorably screwed up my recess by dropping a note on my table.

Anyways lets continue. I'm not saying not trying to do something is a mistake. Of course everyone has their reasons. Life is fast paced and it takes a toll on time. People are too busy to even care about themselves, let alone care about others. The thing is, people who receive care and love almost always remember how happy they felt and they will return the favour to their saviour. Same goes for people who receive neglect and pain. They will return the "favour" too.

So think of it this way, just like Mr Seow Swee Hong so memorably told me during an assembly dance performance, "action reaction forces", the same physics principle applies in this aspect of mistakes in love.

Of course we always try to take an easy way out. Don't we all want care and love, and don't want neglect and pain? But we give that neglect and pain to other people and we often do not feel it. But don't worry about it, its just human nature. People do it all the time, and soon we grow accustomed to it. People who received neglect and hate and pain before are many times more as likely to give the same things to someone else than someone who gets love and care. Its easy to say "I hate you", but it is never easy to replace the word "hate" with "love". But rewards only come to those who go the extra mile.

So if he/she is looking or feeling down, don't hesitate to initiate a conversation online, or simply drop him a short and simple one-word text message during the middle of a lesson : "Emoing?" , I'm sure it will mean a lot and go a long, long way.

Its just whether you choose to do it or not.





I want to thank a special someone who really made me think that I was loved and cared for.

I would also like to apologise, because all that crap above about a mistake in love, I made that mistake. I'm sorry.