73

Hey all...just realized got 2.4 for GPA this semester...wo0ts...i'm screwed like mother...i didnt realize my entire life can be compromized in just a couple of hours of that fucking parent teacher conference...

You may agree that my life is already so screwed in the first place...but now its screwer...aihs...there's no more chance...maybe that damn fortune teller was right...according to my grandmother..if i don't work like fucking **** hard this year...i will be screwed...and i admit i didnt work hard at all this semester...so its time to pay the price...

So is this the only thing everyone cares about now? grades? when does living life and being yourself mean anything all all as long as grades and certificates and scholarships exist? i know its unrealistic...or even spastic...to think about changing this fucked up world now...so let's just hope that it can end early so we won't suffer...

You see all those inspirational posters and quotes and shit...its about living life to the fullest and enjoying it...all those shit...does that matter in this world now? all which matters in this world now is working hard like fuck and getting all those grades and certificates and scholarships...and while those streamers erupt around you...its only a matter of time before you leave this world and not enjoy fame, fortune and power anymore...

There's this one shit which my father said which is seriously fucked up...he says "This world is very fair." its either he's a moron or he's spastic or he's too easily satisfied...or he's really very admirable to look on the bright side of this black world...

Also...it appears my parents like saying shit..."You are working hard for good grades for yourself!"...yeah right...if i want to help myself i won't be torturing myself like that...
i welcome the end with open arms...and i wish i can see the end of this fucking world in my lifetime...so i can run to the frontline, open my arms and embrace the journey to a happier world...

I regret coming to dunman high now...my parents fought hard for my appeal to get inside here...but what do i come here for? for my parents to haolian in front of their colleagues? i could have stayed in chung cheng and be happy with above average grades...but not a lousy struggler in dunman high surrounded by geniuses...

i hope that i will just drown and die during the level camp...or just trip on a rock and fall into the sea off st. john's island...because i have a solution for this...a very simple one...

shall i become an outcast? a bastard who had failed in everything...his grades...his life...his friends?...

I believe there's no possibility for me to continue playing basketball anymore...and my com allowance time may be decreased to even an hour per week...or worse...i get the quarantine...maybe even tv wont be available for long...and don't even mention outings...

Wo0ts...i just ruined my life...(ok maybe its this year and not my whole life)...

Shall i chain my arms and legs up to save myself? or should i chain my neck to save myself?

either way...i'm screwed...

...

Let's look on the not so dark side of things...something i've learnt from happy happy sw...

hmm...

let's see what "happy" stuff i have to talk about...

ok there's only one thing...

There's this budding writers thing which is something like CAP...about writing LA stuff and submitting them...but you don't get any $$ from CAP...but from this...you will actually get to have your works published and you will get 15% of profits! so i'm definitely in...and mind you don't tell my parents anything about that cuz i wanna keep the money if by luck and chance my works get selected...jia jian will be with me for the illustrations and some ideas for poems...i know it will be a long way until the submission but i am excited about the chance to earn and keep my own money...haha..and not be possessed by my parents...yeah and who want come join me also can...we'll split evenly the $$...IF we get it la...this is the real world...the big game...

yes ...and congratulations ant for having the permission to learn guitar...and congratulations on your happy outing =D...my time will come soon...and soon enough i can join you'all...wo0ts...but it's gonna take a lot of fucking hard work to get there...so you'll hafta wait...

camp's coming in the next 2 days..and i got ben balls, yun en, and pajama boy...but i don't know the rest of the ppl...aihs...let's see what's gonna happen...